Tuesday 31 January 2006

bad im bad you know it


this is a call , i wanna see the best of what you have got , i wanna see the worst album covers of all time , if you can better me then you are a better resident of wrontown than i


GAME ON !

Overheard in New York.

There is this website - Overheard in New York - where people write in with funny shit they have heard on the streets, in bars, on the train etc.  An example is below.  Of course it's not likely that anyone will post any comments to this post here, BUT I would LOVE to hear other funny comments people have heard NY or otherwheres.  What do you reckon? Want to post a comment?


Drunk guy: Don't you fuck with me!
Sober woman: What?
Drunk guy: You sleep with a different guy every night!
Sober woman: I do not. What are you talking about?
Drunk guy: You love...me. You want to marry...me.
Sober woman: This is ridiculous. I've had enough. I don't have to take this anymore. Goodbye!

She leaves. He turns to the next table.

Drunk guy: Yeah, did you see that girl who just left? I just dumped her. Can I buy you two a drink?

--Rosie O'Grady's, 7th Avenue


i is back

Excuse me, while I kiss this guy

Misheard song lyrics can be hilarious, don’t you think.

Can you guess the songs/artists of each of these?

- There goes my hero, he’s old and hairy
- Here we are now, in containers
- She don’t like Great Canada Beaver (another version is "she don’t like my refrigerator")
- You need Kool-Aid, well maybe I made Kool-Aid


So, what’s your most embarrassing misheard lyric. I’m a big Frank Zappa fan, and recently was quizzed by someone about my FZ knowledge. I think the question was “Billy was a mountain, what was Ethel?”. I immediately panicked, because I didn’t want to show my ignorance, especially for such a seminal Zappa song, however the first thing that came to mind was “Ethel was a tree hanging off of his shoulder”, but thought that sounded ridiculous so pretended I’d forgotten..... I looked it up this morning, and that actually is the correct lyric. I should have known, goddamnit.

I’m not sure what’s worse – that this person now thinks I’m ignorant and don’t really know Zappa at all, or that I could have offered such a stupid line and it be wrong. Actually, now that I think of it, neither is that earth-shatteringly bad...

Electric 6


Danger! High Voltage (XL/Beggars)
By:
Cam Lindsay of In Music We Trust

Pushed back a couple of times, the release of Electric 6's discorock anthem, is set to be a massive, massive hit. And that's guaranteed, even if people don't know or don't give a toss about the fact that Jack White wails along with the Tom Jones soundalike singer Dick Valentine. It has an infectious guitar loop at the beginning, with some saxophone and a steady dance beat, making it quite accomplished for some guys from Detroit who had to change their name from The Wildbunch because of Massive Attack and their crew. Valentine has a knack for pushing his expressions to the max and on "I Lost Control (Of My Rock & Roll)" and "Remote Control (Me)". These b-sides are equally as enthusiastic as the single, but far less thrilling. Nevertheless, it's the a-side that is important, and it will be 2003's first big hotstepper. (more reviews)

"We used to be called the Wildbunch. We had to change our name because we wanted a shot at the big time. We got our shot, but we are not entirely sure that this is the big time. We think this is more of a hazy limbo with no end in sight. We are not sure if God remembers us or cares who we are. Over the years, we reckon we've had 4 different guitar players, 4 different bass players, 5 different keyboard players and 3 different drummers. We use stage names because we had a stupid idea one night and now we have to live with it."

Go to the band's website and read more or buy the record.

just the way you like it

Speech Bubbles

In New York an art project ran around the city pasting blank speech bubbles onto posters and such and waited to see what people wrote into them.  Have a look here at the results.
 
 

Nothing

Nothing is not always better than something.

Star Wars Kid

Star Wars Kid: Not here!
 
Here: No Star Wars Kid!

Monday 30 January 2006

Blow on my face

Best Blonde Joke ever

"Quite possibly the funniest blonde joke I have ever heard."
Read it here.

Friday 27 January 2006

1001 nights - a farters tale


"They will say that I have let myself be buggered in some extraordinary fashion, and that it is all very well for me to be severe in my judgments when I have given myself up to such strange immoralities that I can bear a child. As Allah lives, I am sure that they will accuse me of having been buggered, me, their virtuous qadi, and I have almost forgotten what it feels like!"

Read more of this story here

Armin Meiwes - German Cannibal

Warning: Some of the links here will take you to sites with graphic and disturbing images. Also I haven't necessarily explored all of the links beyond the first few paragraphs and rarely beyond a first page. Stick to the mainstream media for a safer and less troublesome read.


"My friend enjoyed dying, death. I only waited horrified for the end after doing the deed. It took so terribly long."

(more)

In 2001 Armin Meiwes met Bernd Juergen Brandes on the internet. You probably know what happened next. In 2003 Armin was arrested and many of us received updates of the police investigation and trial via email and newspapers. He was eventually sentenced to 8 and 1/2 years for manslaughter.

Armin is back in the news for a number of things, most notably facing an appeal against his 8 and ½ year sentence. Also in what looks like a trend in suing movie makers and musicians who have taken his story as a source for a creative work.

You may think Felicity and Rammstein have nothing to do with each other. Think again. The star of Felicity, Keri Russell, is set to star in a new movie called Butterfly loosely based on an investigation into a mad cannibal's motivation. Similarly Rammstein wrote a song "Mein Teil" (My Piece) motivated by curiosity about the cannibal's motivation. (More on Butterfly) (More on Rammstein's case)

I guess when you are locked away and none of the other prisoners will play with you you have to do something to keep yourself motivated.


It's the quiet ones you have to watch. Neighbours describe killer as 'a pleasant and polite man': Neighbours describe the murder suspect as a pleasant and polite man who kept to himself. He served in the German armed forces as a non- commissioned officer in ordinance for 12 years where was described as an amiable and conscientious military man. (more)

What's wrong with cannibalism? Plenty. But what is wrong with journalism when they publish this sort of tripe? there is a time for even handed journalism and a time for Fox news style hyperbole. Claire, don't you think cannibalism meets that bar?

More cannibals at large? Since Armin was sentenced another cannibal,
Ralf Meyer, has been identified, this time without a consensual meal partner (ah-hem.) Police said Meyer lost his nerve and confessed after killing his victim. "There's a body in my flat," he told them. "Please stop me before I eat it."

And in this light hearted but disturbing article the
Bizarre Story of the EBay Body snatchers we learn that cannibalism and other macabre pursuits are a few clicks away from normalcy and silliness. "WE HAVE all done it. You come back from the pub half cut and think it is a wizard wheeze to advertise a dead body on EBay. But when Daniel O'Dee from Salford posted the joke advert he got an email from someone calling himself 'Donnie, the Hanover cannibal' offering £2,000 for a 'fresh corpse'." (more)

And for the extreme and disturbed... What looks like a fan site (With photos of the dude's home) And a news site with some disturbing pictures at the other end of this link.

Go to hell

For a little while now I have had a link to a website called Hell.com off to the right of this web page. It's a neat idea to have an online version of Hell available to people. It makes the journey so much more convenient. And you can even pay with a credit card.

If, on the other hand, you are looking for a real world destination try Little Rock, Arkansas, where this sign is from. (More)

Tuesday 24 January 2006

43 things

Have a look at this website - 43 things.

Check out my entyry of the one thing I want to do. At least I think I'm funny. I signed up with the handle of MayorofWrongtown.

Or - look at people who want to be nude :)

Anyway, If you are game I'm interested to hear what you want to do.

Quadruple Amputee

Shamelessly stolen from BFL - 1 good reason not to fall pregnant...this is not funny, just extremely bizarre and somewhat unnerving.
Woman Becomes Quadruple Amputee After Giving Birth

A Sanford mother says she will never be able to hold her newborn because an Orlando hospital performed a life-altering surgery and, she claims, the hospital refuses to explain why they left her as a multiple amputee.

The woman filed a complaint against Orlando Regional Healthcare Systems, she said, because they won't tell her exactly what happened. The hospital maintains the woman wants to know information that would violate other patients' rights.

Claudia Mejia gave birth eight and a half months ago at Orlando Regional South Seminole. She was transported to Orlando Regional Medical Centre in Orlando where her arms and legs were amputated. She was told she had streptococcus, a flesh eating bacteria, and toxic shock syndrome, but no further explanation was given.

The hospital, in a letter, wrote that if she wanted to find out exactly what happened, she would have to sue them.

"I want to know what happened. I went to deliver my baby and I came out like this," Mejia said.

Mejia said after she gave birth to Mathew last spring, she was kept in the hospital with complications. Twelve days after giving birth at Orlando Regional South Seminole hospital, she was transported to Orlando Regional Medical Centre where she became a quadruple amputee. Now she can not care for or hold her baby.

"Yeah, I want to pick him up. He wants me to pick him up. I can't. I want to, but I can't," she said. "Woke up from surgery and I had no arms and no legs. No one told me anything. My arms and legs were just gone."

Her 7-year-old son, Jorge, asks his mother over and over what happened to her. Neither she nor her husband has the answer.

"I love her, so I'll always stick with her and take it a day at a time myself," said her husband, Tim Edwards.

The couple wants to know how she caught streptococcus, during labor or after. She doesn't know. She knows she didn't leave the hospital the same.

"And why, I want to know why this happened," she said.

Her attorney, Judy Hyman wrote ORHS a letter saying, according to the Florida statute, "The Patients Right To Know About Adverse Medical Incidents Act," the hospital must give her the records.

"When the statute is named 'Patients Right To Know,' I don't know how it could be clearer," Hyman said.

The hospital's lawyers wrote back, "Ms. Mejia's request may require legal resolution." In other words, according to their interpretation of the law, Mejia has to sue them to get information about herself.

That's the sticking point, the interpretation of the Patients Right To Know act, a constitutional amendment Florida voters passed a little more than a year ago.

Mejia's other attorney, E. Clay Parker, said the hospital is not following the law

"We were forced to file this and ask a judge to interpret the constitutional amendment and do right," Parker said.

Mejia hopes the right thing is done. She said not knowing exactly why it happened is unbearable. She only hopes she'll be able to soon answer her little boy's question, 'What happened?'

"He told me everyday, 'What happened,' and I don't have any answers for that," she said.

ORMC said Mejia is requesting information on if there were other patients or someone on her floor with the streptococcus. They said, if they release that to her, that would be a violation of other patients' rights.
Source: Banned From Life

Monday 23 January 2006

Yesterday's news Today

With Australia Day coming up (January 26) I thought I would post this old article about the results of a previous Australia Day binge drinking session.

AUSTRALIA GETS DRUNK, WAKES UP IN NORTH ATLANTIC

Tired of Being Isolated and Ignored, Continent Isn't Bloody Moving

After what witnesses described as an all night blinder during which it kept droning on about how it was always being bloody ignored by the whole bloody world and would bloody well stand to do something about it, Australia this morning woke up to find itself in the middle of the North Atlantic.

According to Australians and residents of several countries destroyed or lewdly insulted during the continent's nearly 7,000-mile saltwater stagger, the binge began just after noon yesterday at a pub in Brisbane, where several patrons were discussing Australia Day and the nation's general lack of respect from abroad.

And if you are interested in what the Yoof of Australia are listing to these days you can tune in to (or audio stream) Triple J's Hottest 100.

Source: Satirewire

Australia Day


Listen to this speech

http://www.themainmeal.com.au/samsspeech/

We won!!!!

You will be all pleased to know that we at Wrongtown have just been advised, via email, that we have won first prize of $1 million pounds in the Lottery Winners International program!! And we didn’t even know we’d entered.

But shhh everyone. We’ve been asked to keep our extremely fortunate win to ourselves for the time being... something about their security protocol and not wanting to open the scam, uh-hum, I mean, spam program up to unwarranted abuse by other jealous (and unlucky) participants.

Thursday 19 January 2006

My golden cock

Say hello to my little friend

Pole Dancing

Guns n Roses

Visit the Gunner's website. It's a sad testament to what once was.
-or-

It's a good day to die

"At no point are we not going to value the sanctity of life," said prison spokesman Vernell Crittendon. "We would resuscitate him," then execute him.
California's oldest condemned inmate, Clarence Ray Allen, was executed a day after his 76th birthday last week. Allen, who suffered a heart attack in September 05, had requested prison authorities let him die if he went into cardiac arrest before his execution, but his request was denied.

Doctors had to administer two shots of potassium chloride to carry out the execution.


Source: CNN

I think you're the father of one of my kids

A guy goes to a supermarket and notices a beautiful blonde wave at home and says hello.

He's rather taken back, because he can't place where he knoes her from, so he says, "Do you know me?" to which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."

Now he thinks back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My god, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I laid on the pool table with, with all my buddies watching, while your partner whipped me with a wet celery then stick a carrot up my butt?"

"No," she said, "I'm your son's mathes teacher".

Wednesday 18 January 2006

General Pumpkin

This is a Korean folk tale about a man who dies a hero because he shits like a bad-ass.
Long, long ago there lived a rich man who had an only son. This boy had an enormous appetite and was particularly fond of pumpkins. His parents got all the pumpkins they could for him. They sowed all their fields with pumpkins, and bought them in vast quantities from the neighbors and in the market. They made pumpkin cakes, pumpkin puddings, pumpkin soup, pumpkin porridge for their son, and he ate nothing else. He would eat a big straw bagful at a sitting, and yet he always complained that he was hungry.

Slow Down Week

January 15-21 is International Slow Down Week

It is all about exploration and adventure, experimenting with new rhythms for a more enjoyable, fulfilling, interesting and meaningful life. Now, before you get too excited, take a second . . . relax. There's no need to start planning feverishly for your perfect week in the slow lane. More...

See the neat animation from Adbusters here.

Who are adbusters?

It's not getting any smarter out there...

... You have to come to terms with stupidity, and make it work for you.
(Frank Zappa)

Last week, on 12 January, was the 170th anniversary of Charles Darwin sailing into Sydney Harbour. A short time later he travelled through the Blue Mountains on his way to Bathurst. It was on this journey that he made his first notes on what would later develop into his theory of evolution.

In acknowledgement of Darwin’s theory, recognition is given to the individual who, through single-minded self-sacrifice, has done the most to remove undesirable elements from the human gene pool. The Darwin Awards salute the improvement of the human genome by honouring those who accidentally kill themselves in really stupid ways.


2006 Darwin Awards

5th RUNNER-UP: Goes to a San Anselmo, California man who died when he hit a lift tower at the Mammoth Mountain ski area while riding down the slope on a foam pad. 22-year old David Hubal was pronounced dead at Central Mammoth Hospital. The accident occurred about 3 am, the Mono County Sheriff's department said. Hubal and his friends apparently had hiked up a ski run called Stump alley and removed some yellow foam protectors from lift towers, said Lt Mike Donnelly of the Mammoth Lakes Police Department. The pads are used to protect skiers who might hit towers. The group apparently used the pads to slide down the ski slope and Hubal crashed into a tower. It has since been investigated and determined the tower he hit was the one with its pad removed.


4th RUNNER-UP: Goes to Robert Puelo, 32, was apparently being disorderly in a St Louis market. When the clerk threatened to call the police, Puelo grabbed a hot dog, shoved it into his mouth and walked out without paying. Police found him unconscious in front of the store. Paramedics removed the six-inch wiener from his throat where it had choked him to death.


3rd RUNNER-UP: Goes to poacher Marino Malerba of Spain, who shot a stag standing above him on an overhanging rock and was killed instantly when it fell onto him.


2nd RUNNER-UP: "Man loses face at party." A man at a West Virginia party (probably related to the winner last year, a man in Arkansas who used the .22 bullet to replace the fuse in his pickup truck) popped a blasting cap into his mouth and bit down, triggering an explosion that blew off his lips, teeth, and tongue. Jerry Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the blasting cap as a prank during the party late Tuesday night, said Cpl MD Payne. "Another man had it in an aquarium hooked to a battery and was trying to explode it. It wouldn't go off and this guy said I'll show you how to set it off." He put it into his mouth, bit down and it blew all his teeth out and his lips and tongue off, Payne said. Stromyer was listed in guarded condition Wednesday with extensive facial injuries, according to a spokesperson at Charleston Area Medical Division. "I just can't imagine anyone doing something like that," Payne said.


1st RUNNER-UP: Doctors at Portland University Hospital said an Oregon man shot through the skull by a hunting arrow is lucky to be alive and will be released soon from the hospital. Tony Roberts, 25, lost his right eye last weekend during an initiation into a men's rafting club, Mountain Men Anonymous (probably known now as Stupid Mountain Men Anonymous) in Grants Pass, Oregon. A friend tried to shoot a beer can off his head, but the arrow entered Robert's right eye. Doctors said that had the arrow gone one millimeter to the left, a major blood vessel would have been cut and Roberts would have died instantly. Neurosurgeon, Doctor Johnny Delashaw, at the University Hospital in Portland said the arrow went through 8 to 10 inches of brain with the tip protruding at the rear of his skull, yet somehow managed to miss all major blood vessels. Delashaw also said that had Roberts tried to pull the arrow out on his own he surely would have killed himself. Roberts admitted afterwards that he and his friends had been drinking that afternoon. Said Roberts, "I feel so dumb about this." No charges have been filed, but the Josephine County district attorney's office said the initiation stunt is under investigation.


Now, THIS YEAR'S WINNER: (The late) John Pernicky and his friend, (the late) Sal Hawkins, of the great state of Washington, decided to attend a local Metallica concert at the George Washington amphitheatre. Having no tickets (but having had 18 beers between them), they thought it would be easy to "hop" over the nine foot fence and sneak into the show. They pulled their pickup truck over to the fence and the plan was for Mr Pernicky, who was 100 pounds heavier than Mr Hawkins, to hop the fence and then assist his friend over. Unfortunately for (the late) Mr Pernicky, there was a 30-foot drop on the other side of the fence. Having heaved himself over, he found himself crashing through a tree. His fall was abruptly halted and broken, along with his arm) by a large branch that snagged him by his shorts. Dangling from the tree with a broken arm, he looked down and saw some bushes below him. Possibly figuring the bushes would break his fall; he removed his pocket knife and proceeded to cut away his shorts to free himself from the tree. Finally free, Mr Pernicky crashed into holly bushes. The sharp leaves scratched his ENTIRE body and now, without the protection of his shorts, a holly branch penetrated his rectum. To make matters worse, upon landing his pocket knife penetrated his thigh. Hawkins, seeing his friend in considerable pain and agony, threw him a rope and tried to pull him to safety by tying the rope to the pickup truck and slowly driving away. However, in his drunken haste, he put the truck into reverse and crashed through the fence landing on his friend and killing him. Police arrived to find the crashed pickup with its driver thrown 100 feet from the truck and dead at the scene from massive internal injuries. Upon moving the truck, they found John under it half-naked, scratches on his body, a holly stick in his rectum, a knife in his thigh, and his shorts dangling from a tree branch 25 feet in the air.

Tuesday 17 January 2006

Mental as Anything


...Who-oah the nips are getting bigger....

I love this picture of Paris Hilton's mum.
Mouth open and nips on show. Now you know why Paris is such a stylish young lady.
(Not that we don't love her. We are huge fans. Really.)

Where did this picture come from?

What Would Merv do?


Play the Boonie versus Donkey Kong Game over beers and watch your scores improve.

Are you Happy yet?

Why is this fellow stoked?
Click this link and learn.

Give up for Australia

An Australian cricketing hero.

Boonie's reaction to the Hobart State Government's decision to change the speed limit on all suburban roads to 52kph in recognition of his outstanding achievement (and unbroken record) of drinking 52 beers on the flight from Australia to England for the 1989 Ashes tour:

"I'm fucken stoked!"







For more information about David Boon's outstanding achievement, visit: http://www.thefanatics.com/category/Cricket/330.html

It's just not cricket

Wiremu, a New Zealander, was in Australia to watch the upcoming Rugby World Cup and was not feeling well, so he decided to see a doctor.

"Hey doc, I dun't feel so good, ey" said Wiremu.

The doctor gave him a thorough examination and informed Wiremu that he had long existing and advanced prostate problems and that the only cure was testicular removal.

"No way doc" replied Wiremu "I'm gitting a sicond opinion ey!"

The second Aussie doctor gave Wiremu the same diagnosis and also advised him that testicular removal was the only cure.

Not surprisingly, Wiremu refused the treatment.

Wiremu was devastated, but with the Rugby World Cup just around the corner he found an expat Kiwi doctor and decided to get one last opinion from someone he could trust.

The Kiwi doctor examined him and said: "Wiremu Cuzzy Bro, you huv prostate suckness ey"

"What's the cure thin doc?" asked Wiremu hoping for a different answer.

"Wull, Wiremu", said the Kiwi doctor "Wi're gonna huv to cut off your balls."

"Phew, thunk god for thut!" said Wiremu, "those Aussie bastards wanted to take my test tickets off me!"

Urgent Medical Warning

Health Alert - Bird Flu

The Center for Disease Control has released a list of symptoms of bird flu. If you experience any of the following, please seek medical treatment immediately:

1. High fever

2. Congestion

3. Nausea

4. Fatigue

5. Aching in the joints

6. An irresistible urge to crap on someone's windshield


(OK, so this is not really all that funny)

Them wacky Americans....


Continuing on the critique of America theme, I saw an interview with Serena Williams this morning (in Melbourne for the Australian Open). When asked if she was happy to be back in Australia, she replied "Man, it's so awfu... I mean, awesome, it's awesome to be back here. I mean, Australia is just like America only another country.... it's so far away".

Mmmm, glad she cleared that up for us.

Monday 16 January 2006

When I grow up


I want to be Free!
(You know who you are)

would you like to upsize for an extra buck

Hmmmmm cough cough ... "Why are M&M's full of chocolate? Because it would be illegal to fill them full of shit."

NEIL HAMBURGER














Wed Jan 11 SYDNEY, NSW, AUSTRALIA - Excelsior Hotel (with The Hard-Ons)

Feel the curves!

Don't let anyone tell you we aren't right up on current events. Just because something happenned 10 years ago doesn't mean we won't report it here.

Coca-Cola has dumped thousands of posters from its new advertising campaign after a graphic sexual image was found hidden in the picture.

The poster shows a cartoon interpretation of a Coke bottle sitting on a bed of ice under the words "Feel The Curves!!". But an image, apparently depicting oral sex and which is only obvious by looking carefully, has been painted inside one icecube in one corner of the picture. Thousands of posters had been distributed to hotels and bottle shops across Sydney before the mistake was discovered by Coca-Cola management 10 days ago.

The company admitted yesterday it was embarrassed by revelation of the oversight. The president of the Australian marketing arm, Coca-Cola South Pacific, Mr Mike Bascle, said the action of the artist was "quite irresponsible and not amusing". The artwork was commissioned in May this year and designed by a small graphic design firm contracted by the soft drink giant.

A $200,000 campaign was created to promote the reintroduction of Coke's original contoured bottle shape. It was designed to appeal to young Coke drinkers who would not have grown up with the famous bottle shape. It was initially destined for 120,000 outlets across Sydney.

Kind of makes you thirsty.

Sources: Snopes.com and The Adelaide Advertiser 'Porn' Poster Upsets Coke, 30 August 1995.

Saturday 14 January 2006

G'Day LA

It's G'Day LA 2006, or Australia Week, in Los Angeles at the moment (14 to 22 January).


I've not been to LA when this is on, but from what I can gather, it appears to be the time when we Australians air all our dirty laundry in a pitiful attempt to raise our commercial and cultural profile so that local LA folk may be inspired to recognise the fact that there is more to the world than just Southern California (I never cease to be surprised at the number of people I meet in LA who've never been outside of LA, unless it's to go to Tijuana or Vegas), and even visit Australia, which pretty much aspires to BE just like LA (but with less traffic). Go figure.

I still chuckle with I think of the time I was asked in the Reno Room (Long Beach, Cal.) if you ever get to see Aborigines in Sydney city, and if we've ever heard of Nirvana.

A note to our American friends... no, Steve Erwin is NOT a typical Australian (ie, we don't all go around saying 'crikey!' and playing with snakes and crocs). We call Nicole Kidman and Mel Gibson Australian despite the fact that they were both born in the US, Russell Crow is really a Kiwi (ie, from New Zealand, which is not part of Australia, despite the fact that most of them now live here), but Cate Blanchett and Heath Ledger are definitely ours, for better or for worse.

Oh, and by the way, speaking of Reno Room - Thomas or Mel, you can tell Stanley that Fat Bastard not in fact an Australian wine, but is actually imported in America by a company based in Seattle from a vineyard in France. But suggest if she wants a good and well priced Australian wine readily available over there, she should try Rosemount or Penfolds.

But back to G'Day LA...... can someone in LA tell me if this means you will be able to get a good meat pie and sauce or sausage sizzle, because these are the things I miss most when I'm there. And don't forget to chuck a couple of PRAWNS (what the hell is shrimp?) on the barbee. And avagood wee'end.

Friday 13 January 2006

Freedom

This is a very shocking (!) anti-American propaganda video which is said to have been made by North Koreans and previously broadcast on South Korean television and Japanese TV. The English translation is by someone called Rob Pongi and you can see this Shocking (!!) film at the other end of this link.

I hate myself

I hate myself and want to die; the 52 most depressing songs you've ever heard.

I bought this book for myself a few weeks before Christmas as a light read while I was travelling around the country visiting relatives. Unfortunately I read it cover to cover the next day. And laughed out loud several times. Tom has the dry wit of a bitter queen and his musical knowledge seems to be deeper than deep. The book is a hoot, the songs are all guaranteed classics that you'll want to listen to at least once if you don't already have it scarred into your once innocent brain (and then after one listen you'll promptly delete them from your i-pod.)

In fact some of these songs could be responsible for the current US and UK foreign policy problems. You be the judge.

I leave you with som smart arse comments form Tom himself and a link to an article he wrote about Lawyers.

A few who've read the book have said that I'll burn in hell for what I wrote. But then again, after listening to 30 different covers of "Send in the Clowns," including Grace Jones' disco version, all I can say is "been there, done that."

Aussie test

How Aussie are you?
Do this test and learn more about yourself.

Remember what Aussie tranlates as in Chinese?

Only in America...

Hmm, it seems I'm being a little anti-American today.... it's not intentional, 'they' just provide such good fodder for ridicule.
* * *
MINNEAPOLIS voters, who eight years ago elected a former professional wrestler as their governor, may find a self-proclaimed vampire on the ballot for the office this year.
"Politics is a cut-throat business," said Jonathan "The Impaler" Sharkey, who said he plans to announce his bid for governor on the ticket of the Vampyres, Witches and Pagans Party.
Like Jesse "The Body" Ventura, who was elected governor as an independent in 1998, the 41-year-old Sharkey once was a wrestler, although he spent his time "The Unholiest of Kings: Tarantula" on obscure professional circuits.
"I'm a Satanist who doesn't hate Jesus," Sharkey said. "I just hate God the Father."
However, he claims to respect all religions and if elected, will post "everything from the Ten Commandments to the Wicca Reed" in government buildings.
Sharkey also pledged to execute convicted murders and child molesters personally by impaling them on a wooden pole outside the state capitol. Sharkey told the Minneapolis Star Tribune that he's a vampire "just like you see in the movies and TV."
"I sink my fangs into the neck of my donor ... and drink their blood," he said, adding that his donor is his wife, Julie.
The field for the governor's race in Minnesota is far from complete. Republican incumbent Tim Pawlenty is widely expected to seek another term in November and his Democratic opponent has not been determined. Sharkey said he planned to announce his candidacy on Friday – the 13th – because that was "my lucky number."

From: www.news.com.au

Castfun - weird fetishes

You know the world is full of weirdness and you come to wrongtown regularly to see what new weirdness we have discoverred.

The book/movie Crash by JG Ballard (starring James Spader) featured a sub-culture of people who eroticised injuries. Broken arms and legs, smashed faces and scars were the heart of a sexual fascination. The book/movie Fight Club had the narrator (Ed Norton's character) attend self help classes as part of a weird fetish for embedding himself amongst testicular cancer victims growing man-boobs, body parasites, and more. You, like me, thought these were the creative interpretations of the fringe of our culture. You thought there was a kernal of truth here that had been modified and amplified by the creative authors Ballard and Palahniuk. You were mistaken. The world is a weirder place that you had imagined. And you love it.

Well, today you are in luck. I bring you Casterz, the website for people who like people in casts.

The world from an American point of view

If pigs could fly

Would they have their own colours?
A fourescent pig has been developed by Mad Scientists in Asia.
Read more at yahoo news

"There are partially fluorescent green pigs elsewhere, but ours are the only ones in the world that are green from inside out. Even their hearts and internal organs are green," Wu said on Thursday.

Screaming pickle

I love it when I discover a new website and today has been better than usual. I have been led by Justin to the Screaming Pickle. Check out the Gary Coleman link.



Here is an opinion of the site:

"Put the camera away before I throw a &%#$ into ya."
- Officer Fikes - Police Officer



Black Pussy

See amazing black pussy here.
(What a cheap attempt to get porn search hits)

Friday the 13th


What better way to start Friday the 13th than with a post about a black cat?

In the fall of 2005, the Black Cat celebrated its 12th year of bringing you the best in independent
live music in the Washington DC area. In the early ‘90s, DC suffered from a lack of good concert venues, especially spaces that catered to the area’s underground music scene. Hoping to revive the tradition of independent music in Washington, a group of investors (most of them musicians) opened the Black Cat in September 1993. Among the first bands to play were the Fall, Rancid, Morphine, Stereolab, Slant 6 and 9353. Since opening its doors, the Black Cat has been a home for local and national talent, thereby playing its own part in the explosion of indie rock that marked the last decade.

Now, I have never been there, but I do liken the idea of musiscians making money out of playing live music. And it is Friday the 13th. And they are named after a black cat.

Thursday 12 January 2006

One night Mr T took a 10pm train home.
He still refuses to give it back.

Both kinds of music

Visit Regnyouth

It's a music blogsite that reviews bands, songs and more. It's mostly older stuff, but has some not-so-old bands as well. (Or am I just getting old.) Most posts have a short article about a group and a sample album to listen to. Great for browsing when you aren't sure what to download next.

Benny's taste seems pretty eclectic, but there doesn't appear to be much rubbish there so if you like music you'll like this site.

Take a moment and click this link

Wednesday 11 January 2006

We have a World Record

We being Australia, that is.

Australia Wins: Most Devastating Animal Introduction
In 1859, a farmer introduced 24 wild rabbits to Australia. With few natural predators, they bred to calamitous proportions. They eat crops, destroy seedlings, and their burrows damage the soil. Today, there are up to 300 million rabbits in Australia.

Anyway, you can hardly blame them for breeding when their wives look like this. Thank goodness they aren't all Crazy Rabbits

Chuck Norris!

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Chuck says:

IN RESPONSE TO THE "RANDOM FACTS" THAT ARE BEING GENERATED ON THE INTERNET
I'm aware of the made up declarations about me that have recently begun to appear on the Internet and in emails as "Chuck Norris facts." I've seen some of them. Some are funny. Some are pretty far out. Being more a student of the Wild West than the wild world of the Internet, I'm not quite sure what to make of it. It's quite surprising. I do know that boys will be boys, and I neither take offense nor take these things too seriously. Who knows, maybe these made up one-liners will prompt young people to seek out the real facts as found in my recent autobiographical book, "Against All Odds?" They may even be interested enough to check out my novels set in the Old West, "The Justice Riders," released this month. I'm very proud of these literary efforts.
~ Chuck Norris
(Chuck's website is here)

It is not a tumour!

tumour=tumor
–tumorous, adjective
/'tyoohmuh/
noun
1. a swollen part; a swelling or protuberance.
2. Pathology an abnormal or morbid swelling in any part of the body, especially a more or less circumscribed morbid overgrowth of new tissue which is autonomous, differs more or less in structure from the part in which it grows, and serves no useful purpose.
[L: swollen state]


Poor ol' Arnie cops a fat lip after illegally riding his Harley Davidson recently. Rumour has it that he won't even be receiving a fine for his misdemeanor. Of course he won't. And bollocks to him! If it's good enough for me to receive a neg driving charge for smashing up his Excellency the B-Radster's car, then it's good enough for the Governator.



The Terminator told Chuck Norris, "I'll be back."
The Terminator never returned.