Tuesday 28 February 2006

Who am I?

The colon is approximately five to seven feet in length in a person **** size and should have been about two inches in diameter . . . however, ****'s colon was at least three and a half inches in diameter in some places and as large as four and half to five inches in diameter in others . . . [T]he megacolon was jam-packed from the base of the descending colon all the way up and halfway across the transverse colon. It was filled with white, chalklike fecal material.

Monday 27 February 2006

Wedding Crashers

Hot News: B-Rad and Smello feature in the new trailer for Wedding Crashers Australian DVD release!

Click here to see them.
but wait... there's more

Sunday 26 February 2006

IS IT TRUE????



1990's Super Group
"The Rooftop G-Nomes"
Have currently been in negotiations with major
International Music Promoters for a Worldwide comeback tour and DVD Documentary to celebrate 18.75 years since the launch of the epic
never released album "Walking the Dog clad in a leather Jacket "

Spokesman for the Group says that
The three original members

Booger p,
Shorty p,
and
Spesh b
have not confirmed anything but are currently considering it

" a shitload of mula for a cupla fully sick globally stupendous shows with all da trimmings of easta and chrissie all thrown togetha and blended into a tops cocktail of bowlo and r ey stye rock thrown at ya in a stadium like arena" spesh b

Word on the street is go go go ... but the fans are a bit hmmm unsure because the last falling out of the threesome ten years ago was over a beef croquette hmmm seemed a little weird hey!!!

Super Stars huh How blessed are we to have them ???

Friday 24 February 2006

Glass House

This week on a comedy TV show in Australia called the Glass House the following comments were made (paraphrased here.)
 
Host: A survey has been done in Australia saying 62% of Australians don't like Americans (presumably 20-something percent of us do like y'all.)
American guest: That's fine with us cos we don't care.  You're our bitch.  Just keep your dollar low and your beaches clean.
 
Fair enough.

Flash





Thursday 23 February 2006

Rock and Art gig

there is a petition to get Radio Birdman to play with the Stooges at the Big Day Out. Of course I am late again in learning this but whatever it must be a Birdman and me thing.

I'll probably also miss what looks like a cool art gig (that's exhibition for you non rock types) in Sydney's Double bay. Details here.

New venue in Sydney: THE FORUM

This week a new venue is being launched in Sydney. THE FORUM SYDNEY is a purpose built venue that can hold up to 1300 for a live gig with great views of the stage from the many split levels and up to 2000 for a dance event.

The venue is owned by David Comerford, the former owner of the GAELIC CLUB (now the GAELIC THEATRE). The venue is located opposite the Hordern Pavilion at The Entertainment Quarter (Fox Studios) and is just minutes from Surry Hills. Apparently it features the very best in sound and lighting.

The launch gig is some dance thing, which I’m not really that interested in expanding on. However, if you’re into something a little bit harder check out THE HAUNTED and EXODUS with support from local band I KILLED THE PROM QUEEN who are hitting the stage here at the Forum on 7 March.

The venue doesn't appear to have a website yet, but you can check out the up and coming gigs at the Moshtix website.

It’s good to see new venues opening in Sydney, especially a larger one.

More support for live music!!!

Reg says

"To his billions of fans, Reg Reagan typifies some uniquely Australian values - he loves a beer or twenty, is a self confessed ladies' man, practises an extreme form of on-field violence, sticks by his mates (until he gets a better offer), and has the most famous mo and mullet since Newk and Connors shared a post-match shower together."

An email has been circulating with Reg's thoughts on men:


  1. If you are over 30 and you have a washboard stomach, you're gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and rather you've been sucking-off the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.
  2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaayming Fag. A cat is like a dog, but Gay: it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog..."Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun,come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're the poster boy for GAY.
  3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby-dummies, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks bar-b-q ribs, crab-claws, raw oysters, craw-fish guts, pickled pigs feet, or titties. Anything else and you are in training to suck El-Dicko and undeniably a Fag.
  4. If you refuse to have a shit in a public toilet or piss in a parking lot, you're in a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his toilet; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.
  5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard one in the poop-chute. Coffee is to be had strong, black (or with thick, wholesome milk) and full-aroma. A pussy-eating man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim" and he will never, ever know what artificial sweetener tastes like. If you've had NutraSweet in your mouth, you've had a dick in there too.
  6. If you know more than six names of colours or four different types of dessert, you might as well be handing out a free pass to your arse. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap as well as all the names of all the players in the NRL, Super 12 Rugby, Cricket, PGA, NBL, and Supercar series. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a "fresier" is, you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than denim, you are faggadocious!
  7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it...you're hungry for man sausage. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at slow-arse Volvo drivers or to cut the mother***ker off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat his hamburger, hold his beer, or, if he's a wog, talk on his mobile phone.
  8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mon-frere, vous sonnez le Gay, oui? The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with a woman who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the above films by yourself or with another man is likely to result in SHC (spontaneous homosexual combustion), which is what happens to fags when they flame out too quickly. So follow the rules and beware.
  9. If your name is Marty, Brent, Josh or Nat then stop living in denial. You're a dung punching arse bandit from way back and everyone knows it.

Wednesday 22 February 2006

More free music - and some nice pictures

Have a look at this neat website. The images are windows to other larger pictures.
Visit it here and look further.

This web page is part of infinitechug's web precence. They say they used to be a record label but now they are something else. Whatever they are it includes some nice design and free MP3s of cool bands.
(They offer a donation service in case you want to support their starving artists.)

Those of you who like new music and who like to download music should take a moment or three and visit their site.

Radio Birdman


Damn. I just missed Radio Birdman. Again!
They played at St Kilda and I didn't find out until Sunday. Can you believe my luck.
Who are Radio Birdman? Would you believe they are one of Australia's coolest rock bands from the 70's. And these still guys totally rock. They tour it seems each summer for a short season. It must be in the blood.
Read this snapshot of what and who Radio Birdman is. Or visit their homepage.
And if you like Rock and Roll art and stuff have a look at this exhibition when it comes to Sydney in march.

Tuesday 21 February 2006

My Tues Morning Blog !



I think we should all have a good Tues morning Blog !!!!!

Monday 20 February 2006

Welcome to controvery

Look away if images of Mohammed offend.

No we aren't scared of controversy here. But we are wonderring what all the fuss is about.
Thanks to Pirro - the filmaker I wrote off last week, for making this picture available.

Comments anyone?

Turnoff TV Week: April 24 - 30


TV-Turnoff Week is the last full week of April.
In 2005, it was scheduled for April 25 through May 1.
Turn off TV Week has been sponsored in the US by the 1994. So far 24 million people have taken part and the organization estimates that 7.6 million people took part in 2004

Your role: Carry our remote control with you as you take your evening stroll. turn off as Many TVs as you can. Tell me that's not a funny way to spend an evening!


Haven't got a remote control?
Get a
Universal one - guaranteed to turn off any TV

Want to know more?

damn those blue bottles


just another victim


Portuguese Man of WAR

sounds like a nasty little fellow doesnt it

ready to take battle with those Spaniards or French perhaps ,,,,, but NO

this little fellow chooses to attack unsuspecting Tourists and beach goers and makes their lives a misery

Oh woe is me .... and all the other unfortunate victims

I guess the Myth is true ..... there is a Great blue bottle in the sea that just waits in the deep anals of the Grand Pacific Ocean .... a Monster of the deep only surfacing to to suck the lifeforce out of the human soul and leave his evil mark

The itch of a thousand camel fleas

Victims everywhere ...... no cure or remedy

the white vinegar we used as kid is a fallacy .... except on hot potato chips with a bit of salt mmm salty

But we must keep going ......pushing ourselves on .... and fighting off the hordes

we will win one day

and the only bottles we shall see are Cold Brown Ones in the Taverns , we will tell our stories of great battles in the oceans fighting off the Barbaric Blue Bottle

Thursday 16 February 2006

Download Southpark episodes?

Apparently there are two banned Southpark episodes in the US. One is the Bloody Mary episode mentioned below, and the other is an older episode that is now off air - the banned scientology episode.

If you are curious and have a broadband connection you can get these episodes here.

by the way, the episodes are hosted by a guy called Pirro who is an indie filmmaker. Apparently he has a small but dedicated fan base in the US. I watched one of his movies last night. Well, half of one before I turned it off in favour of a cool new book by Chuck Palahnuik (Haunted.) And the reason I turned it off isn't that the book is so good (which it is) but because this movie - Rectuma - is so crap.*

I usually like low budget films but this, even with some good ideas and jokes, is just hard to watch. Bad light, bad sound, questionable acting of the "not funny" type... Let me save you 40 minutes (you wont make 100 minutes) by warning you - don't watch this.

Instead go hire yourself "Evil Aliens" - very funny and up there with "Undead" as a modern low-fi classic. Or be watching TV's Garth Marenghi's Darkplace.


* Pun not intended but now that I noticed it I'll also say that Rectuma is shitty. Sorry independent filmakers.

Melissa doesn't have a train driving licence!

Andy's new car

Why would you do this?

Lock and Lock and Loll Ladio ,,, Rets Go !!!!!




NI-HAO


Japanese all girl 3 piece band from Kyoto
played two shows this week @ Empire
and Mandarin club in Sydney

What a nuclear blast of japanese pop rock etc cute and Wacky and they all wear different coloured tracky's
The girls
Yukari -blue
Reo - green
Ariko - Red


Ni Hao has been quoted as being "a trio of two basses and drum's with all three girls singing in complex contrapuntal arangements that stroke, caress, smash, scream and kiss." Tzadik

basically the girls ROCK!!!! and are gorgeous to boot as there first album suggest's


If you like everything Genki as i do then check em out they are heading for Melbourne this Week to do some shows ... go get em girls !!!!!
Definitely worth the Ten bucks and so much more

+++ CUTE FACTOR went Off the Richter cd's at gig and sweet tee's
http://www.eonet.ne.jp/~280/ also check Yukari-san's other band... limited express(has gone?)

I think i will move to Kyoto or Montana ??? mmm not sure might just stay here

Wednesday 15 February 2006

Saturday 11 February 2006

Bloody mary

From CBC's website

Profanity-laced animated TV series South Park has stirred up controversy once again with its latest episode.


'South Park' creators Trey Parker, left, and Matt Stone in October. (AP Photo/Ann Johansson) (AP photo)

The Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights condemned this week's new episode of the provocative cartoon, which airs on Comedy Central in the U.S. and the Comedy Network in Canada.

The league charged that the religious-themed instalment - entitled "Bloody Mary" - "defiled the Virgin Mary."

The episode revolves around a nearby town's discovery that a statue of the Virgin Mary has begun bleeding. The event is dubbed a miracle and the people flock to see the statue, including Pope Benedict XVI, who ultimately pronounces that the statue is simply menstruating.

The conservative group was particularly insulted that the episode first aired on the day before the Catholic Church celebrated its Feast of the Immaculate Conception.

In a statement issued Thursday, the group demanded that Viacom, Comedy Central's parent company, issue an apology to Roman Catholics and "a pledge that this episode be permanently retired and not be made available on DVD."

If the media company decides not to participate, the league is asking Viacom board member and "practising Catholic" Joseph A. Califano Jr. "to issue his own statement of condemnation," the league said.

Califano issued a response Friday, after viewing the segment in question.

"I found it an appalling and disgusting portrayal of the Virgin Mary. It is particularly troubling to me as a Roman Catholic that the segment has run on the eve and day of the Feast of the Immaculate Conception, a holy day for Roman Catholics," Califano said.

He added that he has called for a review of the show by Viacom president and chief executive Tom Freston.

Over the years, the ultra-conservative league has protested against a number of productions, including The Simpsons, Ally McBeal and a staging of award-winning playwright Terrence McNally's Corpus Christi. It has also opposed various media outlets that have published or aired articles and stories it considered anti-Catholic.

Matt Stone and Trey Parker, the two irreverent creators of the Emmy Award-winning South Park, have been both celebrated and condemned for their timely lampooning of current events and their challenges to prevailing American culture, taboos and morals. Past episodes have satirized Scientology, the Terri Schiavo case, Osama bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, the Elian Gonzalez custody battle, the frenzy over the release of Sony's PSP and Tom Cruise.

South Park, now it its ninth season, revolves around a group of foul-mouthed fourth graders living in a small town in Colorado.

Source: CBC

Shoe dilemma


Ladies this is the scene:-

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have.

The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire.

Both of you have forgotten your purses.

It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes.

The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.

Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma.

She prepares to throw her purse to you.

If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes.

At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and, *whilst it is in flight* you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes.

Always remembering that until the purse had *actually been thrown* it would be plain wrong to be forward of the other shopper.

Congratulations - You have just learned the offside rule!!!



Friday 10 February 2006

EPA Warns Of Dangerous Levels Of Romance In Air

WASHINGTON, DC—Responding to a dramatic increase in cases of starry-eyed gazing and spontaneous poetry, the Environmental Protection Agency issued a general health warning Tuesday for hazardous levels of atmospheric romance across the entire North American continent.

Enlarge ImageEPA Warns Of Dangerous Levels Of Romance In Air

A young pair afflicted by its devastating effects.

"Early indications of romantic exposure include a flushing of the skin around the face, neck, and chest, accelerated heartbeat, rapid eyelash batting, and sighs," EPA administrator Steven Johnson said at a morning press conference. "Left untreated, the ailment progresses rapidly, leading to aimless strolls, floral purchases, and a form of acute and regressive aphasia in which the victim's speech degenerates into that of a young child."

According to Johnson, teens, recently married couples, and people who have not yet had all of the hope drained out of them by bitter life experience are at the greatest risk.

"We recommend that members of high-risk groups minimize their exposure by staying indoors, covering up, and avoiding old flames, which can react with even trace elements of sexual chemistry to ignite free-floating passions," Johnson said. "Those living in scenic parts of the country are at an especially high risk, and are strongly urged to avoid dazzling sunsets, mountain vistas, fields of wildflowers, and sun-dappled lakes."

Enlarge ImageEPA Warns Of Dangerous Levels Of Romance In Air

A computer-enhanced image of the high concentrations of romance in the atmosphere over North America.

In an attempt to control the spread of romance, police and sheriff's departments across the country have blockaded intimate bed and breakfasts, ivy-covered inns, and five-star restaurants.

To stem further contamination, hundreds of municipal-park swans have been shot.

Epidemiological studies have found that individuals in picturesque surroundings are eight times more likely to suffer sudden swoonings, sweepings-off of the feet, and, in some extreme cases, prolonged confinement to bed with other romance sufferers.

Those who consider themselves immune to heightened romance levels should take precautions, as well.

"Jaded urbanites and self-styled 'commitment-phobes' should evacuate the continent if possible, as this group is especially susceptible to ill-advised rebound-type pairings and impulsive phone calls and e-mails that they are likely to later regret," Johnson said.

Enlarge ImageEPA Warns Of Dangerous Levels Of Romance In Air

A Los Angeles police officer disposes of hazardous, romantic waste.

If romance levels cannot be stabilized, experts are not ruling out the possibility of an "airborne erotic event"—a massive nationwide outbreak of lovesickness.

"This type of sickness comes from ground-level xoxozone, which occasionally causes distortion to the lower frequencies of the visual field, or 'rose tinting,'" Hallmark scientist Dr. Susan McMurrough said. "It is nearly impossible to detect, as it is generally odorless and colorless. However, in high concentrations, it has an odor like that of Wind Song bath splash."

"Despite centuries of desperate, impassioned research, modern science has found no cure for the periodic springtime scourge commonly known as romance," McMurrough said. "Only three years ago, we were able to isolate an xoxozone sample, but it was lost when all of our scientists abandoned their research duties and eloped."

 

Africa

Monday 6 February 2006

B-Rad's new beachware



No more boardie rash for Bradster

Spicoli

Drug edumaction


Think your child is using drugs???

There is a before and after photo page of crystal meth users the US government has put up as part of it's anti drug campaign. Obviously there's no question that you child is a drug fiend! Drown them now.


can o worms


i did not realise there is an endless supply of bad album covers ... we need a adjudicator
what i wanna know where does he plug his lead?????????????

b-8082



this little contribution comes from Pam in Singapore

now i dont know what these guys sing but i heard they rock ,,, kind of a cross between skid row , human nature and kids in the kitchen

party on wayne

party on garth

bill and ted say " thats most excellent dude"

i think the title is the number plate of their matching skyline gtr's

Friday 3 February 2006

Disservice

Dyslexic porn

Darwin candidate

$1,275.00 for 4 blokes


Four blokes are auctioning a weekend as their best mate on Ebay.
Read the comments for more info.

Cool

Pièce de résistance

I couldn't decide which was daggiest between these two.





Bad News

Bad News Hughes has a funny website with great Christmas pictures.  I wish I were there on Christmas.
 
Go there.  Read it.

The more I see you, the more I want you

Sure this has to be the worst...

By request only

Oh, Millie...........

Is it because I is black?